PathToHoliness

Forgiveness is a word that many people don’t fully understand. I’d like to make some comments on this after reading “Forgiveness A Catholic Approach” by R. Scott Hurd. It has changed my perceptions of what forgiveness is and what it isn’t.

To start with, it isn’t just saying I’m sorry to someone. Jesus died on the cross for us and to forgive our sins. It is something you do when someone has harmed you in some way. And if you follow Jesus on this, you are doing it out of love and not retaliation to whoever caused you to be angry, hurt, jealous as just some examples.

In today’s world it seems like people are “hurt” just because someone doesn’t agree with them. Or perhaps they posted something on social media and commenters write the most hateful things. I think many of them are very angry people who often have no idea what they’re talking about. I guess it makes them feel better but that never lasts.

I would put some excerpts here but there are so many things to meditate on. I took it chapter a day. It may also change your perception of forgiveness.

The last time I went on retreat at the Roseaire Conference Center was in 2015. Since then the facility has made some massive upgrades and a very accessible wing with rooms for more people. The center is beautiful and sits on property that contains about 20 large banyan trees and a trail through a gardeners dream of variety on flowering plants and coconut palms.

So, this retreat, which is managed by the Tekesta Study Center in Miami, is a silent men’s retreat. We listen to the priest provide talks for meditation as well as the sacraments of confession and the Mass. He is also available for a personal session of spiritual direction if you want. There are other talks from members who live and work in Miami as well.

There is a lot of time for meditation, spiritual reading and leaving all the distractions of phones and computers. I write lots of notes from the retreat that I use as social media posts on @PathToHoliness and at the end I select a couple of personal resolutions to look at daily and spend a little time meditating about them.

Most importantly, and something that takes practice, is to “listen to Jesus” along with the above. Sometimes I just sit and marvel about the beauty of God’s creation while not talking but listening. I may not hear Jesus speaking to me but my soul does and that’s what is important. I thank God for my ability to go on retreat as well as my wife who went on her retreat last month at a center in Missouri.

The Basilica of St. Michael the Archangel in Pensacola, FL has many ministries. Relatively new is the Veronica Guild which contains several active teams, one of which is Honoring Life. “Promoting a reverence and respect for the dignity of human life in all its forms as being created in the Image and Likeness of God.”

I am a member of this team and throughout the year, each Friday of our Holy Hour prior to Mass we celebrate Fridays for Life. And the last Friday of each month a team member leads a rosary for life at 11:30am. In addition to these things we are having several meditations on life during the year. The first one was this past Friday when our own Bishop William Wack not only provided a meditation, “Loving Care for the elders among us and the gift of the Sacrament of Anointing,” but he also celebrated the Mass following it.

In his talk he referred to the recent publication of the Dicastery for the Doctrine of the Faith’s Declaration “Dignitas Infinita” on Human Dignity. It is long but he recommends taking the time to read it because it focusing on many issues facing our world today when it comes to respecting life. You can find the recording of the Holy Hour, Talk and Mass on the church YouTube channel here. You can fast forward to Bishop Wack’s talk if you would like.

I have been learning more about Saint Padre Pio. What has especially attracted me is one of his quotes, “Pray, hope, and don’t worry. Worry is useless. God is merciful and will hear your prayer.” (St. Padre Pio)

I have struggled with anxiety for a variety of reasons in the last couple years. Last year I resolved on my annual retreat to focus on this worry and anxiety and find peace. Sounds pretty easy, eh? But I have added prayers to Saint Pio in my morning prayers. So much of what I’ve read and what he has written strikse a cord in my mind and soul. For this reason, I recommend looking into his life more and the Padre Pio Foundation is a great resource for that. You can also purchase very good prayer booklets.

In addition to this I want to add another great resource to help in your search for peace if you are struggling with it. I mentioned it in my last post. That is a short book, “Searching for and Maintaining Peace: A Small Treatise on Peace of Heart,” by Father Jacques Philippe. In part two, chapter 5, he talks about total abandonment to God in order to find peace. “In order that abandonment might be authentic and engender peace, it must be total. We must put everything, without exception, into the hands of God, not seeking any longer to manage or “to save” ourselves by our own means: not in the material domain, nor the emotional, nor the spiritual.” I have said this to God many times, “I abandon myself to you Lord and in you I find peace.” Meditating on this has brought me more peace along the journey. Perhaps it could to you?

I hope you are having a wonderful Easter. Cindy and I were Lectors for the 9am Mass on Easter day. We got someone to take a photo of us.

It has been quite a while since I have posted here. The months from the end of last year to the end of March this year have been very busy. I have been working on letting some things go and working on a plan for the future as Cindy and I have a desire to change the amount of work we do and especially work that requires significant travel. We’ve put this into God’s hand and will work on a plan with goals and He will let us know what He wants us to do.

Easy to say but with prayer and communication it will happen. I’ve struggled with anxiety over a number of things that include work and just plain getting older and starting to feel it. So, I’m very glad for my spiritual director and am looking forward to my annual retreat. This year it will be at the Rosaire Conference Center and put on by the Tekesta Study Center in Miami. I have been there before and have my travel plans made.

I still have a desire to do more with this website and will see if that is something God wants me to do. That includes my X account for @PathToHoliness.

My latest spiritual reading is a short one, “Searching for and Maintaining Peace: A Small Treatise on Peace of Heart, by Fr. Jacques Philippe.” It has described me to a tee and has great advice.

Last week I finished this season’s opening days for deer hunting in Georgia. I don’t know if we will keep this leased property that is shared by about 5 other men. But, for us, it’s good work, camaraderie, time to talk about things without interruptions and lots of hours of sitting in the woods.

For me, it’s prayer time. As soon as I’m sitting in a stand my rosary comes out. With a light breeze in the pines and other trees it’s easy to relax and talk to God and my guardian angel. I’ve been fall deer hunting for over 30 years and I’ve lost track of how many times a deer shows up after I say my rosary. My brother hunts with me and he does the same thing.

Although I take good care of my physical self the best I can, including regular workouts, I can tell you that at 65 years old things are a lot more difficult than when I started hunting! But you find ways to do things differently.

My mantra lately is a great quote from Saint Padre Pio: “Pray Hope and Don’t Worry”

I’ve always been competitive and in many ways like sports, jobs and businesses I have started. Currently my wife and I are nearing 20 years with our current business. We started it and created work for client companies that no one else was doing. Our work involves photography, audio interviews, some video and all to assist in marketing efforts for these companies and most of that involved significant travel. We’ve worked for many of the largest names in agriculture. A big part of what we “pioneered” was the use of blogs, podcasts and social media. But that has all changed in the last 10 years as we started getting competition and now everyone is an influencer, content creator, digital marketing expert . . . This has had a big impact on us, not counting the cost of COVID, although that was a rough time financially.

So, I point this out because for the first time in my life I’ve felt down, depressed and have lost my enthusiasm. I’ve prayed about this and asked God for what He wants of me, of my company, of my “retirement.” I’ve been receiving answers. Most recently being the realization that a lot of my mental attitude is the result of comparing myself to others. Things like new jobs they have, growth in their companies, the fun they’re having in their retirement, their ability to do more exercise. A majority of this comes from seeing and reading this via social media. What was once a core of our work has, in my opinion, become not only a sewer pit of trash, but something that you not only can’t trust is reality or is the constant barrage of people posting about how wonderful they are and how successful (they think) they are. It’s easy to get caught up in that.

So, after about 3 days earlier this week I just felt deflated, no interest in anything, struggling to do things that have to be done, tired and finding myself just staring at the wall in my office. But then it really hit me out of no where it seemed that I’m doing this to myself and it is on one else’s fault. I’m not perfect. I’m not the best photographer. I’m not the best business man. I’m 65 and feeling older and yet trying to do everything I have done for over 40 years in my career. That’s crazy and I thank Jesus for opening my eyes to this. It has not been easy and I doubt I’m out of the woods yet. Although I hope to be in the woods next month for deer season!

I will also add the value of being able to talk to my wife and partner about this. She is pretty no nonsense and comes right to the point. She probably doesn’t know how important that is to me. But it is and since we are married, that includes Jesus as part of that union. It hasn’t been easy to talk about how I have been feeling. I’ve always struggled with some level of anxiety but it was never as bad as the last year.

If you or anyone you know has this kind of feelings or situation I hope you can find a way out of it. I only share this because I hope it might help someone. I have no idea what the next year will bring, much less the rest of this year. But as Saint Padre Pio would say, “Pray, Hope and Don’t Worry.”

BTW. The picture is from a weekday Mass I attended in Springfield, IL at Sacred Heart Church which is run by the St. Katharine Drexel Catholic Parish.

I may have seen this sometime ago but only recently said it carefully and daily. It can be easily found. The author is Rafael Cardinal Merry del Val y Zulueta. He was the Secretary of State to Pope Saint Pius X (1903-1914). I first found it in the book, Deliverance Prayers, For use by the Laity, by Fr. Chad Ripperberger, PhD. I’m posting it here from EWTN since it is easy to post it.

After turning 65 this year and looking ahead to that next life phase which might be a sort of retirement, this prayer has made me feel much more calm and less anxious. I’ve always been a competitor, in sports or in business. I don’t mind saying my goal was to become a millionaire. That didn’t go so well on the first business. Now Cindy and I are 20 years into a small business with a goal of not only doing good work but just being able to pay bills and raise a family of three daughters. We’re now 43 years after college, with 40 in the agricultural communications field. It has been rewarding, educational, fun, and I’ve been able to travel as see so many things that most people will never see. And as proud of I am of meeting a Pope, seeing Guadalupe, seeing the Shroud and many more, I cherish the memories but I don’t want to be honored/praised/preferred/approved. I want to love Jesus and be a good disciple. That is enough and that is a lot. So, whatever happens in the next little while, I want it to be for God only.

O Jesus, meek and humble of heart,

Hear me.

From the desire of being esteemed,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being loved,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being extolled,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being honored,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being praised,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being preferred to others,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being consulted,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the desire of being approved,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being humiliated,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being despised,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of suffering rebukes,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being calumniated,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being forgotten,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being ridiculed,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being wronged,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

From the fear of being suspected,

Deliver me, O Jesus.

That others may be loved more than I,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be esteemed more than I,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That, in the opinion of the world, others may increase and I may decrease,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be chosen and I set aside,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be praised and I go unnoticed,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may be preferred to me in everything,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

That others may become holier than I, provided that I may become as holy as I should,

Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it.

Charity

Charity is patient, is kind; charity does not envy, is not pretentious, is not puffed up, is not ambitious, is not self-seeking, is not provoked; thinks no evil, does not rejoice over wickedness, but rejoices with the truth, bears with all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Cor. 13:4-7).

To have Charity is to love God above all things for Himself and be ready to renounce all created things rather than offend Him by serious sin. ( Matt. 22:36-40)

Last week I spent 4 days working in Chicago. On Thursday, the Solemnity of The Immaculate Conception of the Blessed Virgin Mary, I used Uber to and from Assumption Catholic Church. Which, of course, was well worth it. It was cold and I really don’t have any desire to walk around the streets of a city like Chicago has become. I overheard attendees asking the hotel staff if it was safe to walk even just a couple blocks.

But all was well and we had a wonderful Mass where I renewed my Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary prayer. It’s actually several weeks of meditation and prayer and I highly recommend it.

The next trip I have to make for work isn’t until January 10 in New Orleans. It is shaping up to be a busy 1st quarter of 2023, just like it was this year. I don’t really relish the travel anymore but it is work and I offer it all up to God. I am hoping to see some family members before then, especially my Mother. In six weeks it will be the anniversary of my Dad’s funeral and I’d like to see her before then.

Just in case no one has reminded you to get out and vote on Tuesday then please exercise your right to do so. I know many have voted early. I just like to go into my precinct vote and see my vote gets handed in to the people who work there.

I’m not writing to tell you who to vote for. I can tell you what I look for in someone who is running for office though. The respect for all lives is first up for me, especially those conceived in their mother’s womb. I can’t comprehend how many babies have been killed for convenience. Hopefully you know that is the primary reason for abortions, regardless of what anyone wants to tell you. The statistics don’t lie. But besides abortion I think we should all respect life in all its stages and that includes elderly, disabled and unemployed. So I look for a candidate who respects life.

Another big issue for me is how our governments are handling immigrants who legally want to come to America. It is heart breaking to see what is happening on our country’s borders. The crime, drugs and trafficking in people can be stopped. But we need help from our government to do that and none is happening.

There are a lot of issues to take note of and to think hard about what you really want for yourself and your family and friends, not to mention your workplace. Inflation, supply chain disruptions, health care that is becoming a shadow of what it used to be and don’t forget the immense amount of mental illness everywhere in our country. I wish is was just as easy as turning off the “news,” don’t spend much of any time on your phone/tablet/computer for social media and texting. Pick up the phone and call someone instead. Make an appointment to see your priest or church leader who can listen and help you.

And I’ll end with the need to pray more often. Ask God what He wants you to do before you make a decision. He will always listen and wants to hear you. Just spend some quiet time listening (not talking) to God. You probably won’t hear Him audibly but your soul will.

May all your Guardian Angels look over and help you overcome all the things that bother you or that you need serious help with.

I don’t know why it is so difficult to “find my voice” with this website. My original purpose was to just share the journey of faith that I’ve been on, especially after a very incredible conversion experience that changed my life. There are so many facets to this that I think I should be able to at least share my thoughts on these things for the rest of my life.

So, I’ll keep trying.

Over 2 weeks ago someone accessed my Facebook account via my AgWired.com business page. I got a notice from FB and immediately logged in and saw that it was someone on a computer in Chicago. I was in Minneapolis at the time. Before I could cancel them out, FB blocked my whole account. Although I went through their disagreement process I still do not know why they did this other than that “someone reported to them that I had violated FB standards.” I have never done that in any way. So, I don’t know who, how, why. And there is no way to communicate with FB.

This has bothered me more than I would have expected. I have been on FB since the moment you could create an account. I have used it to communicate with family, friends and business associates. I created two business pages to provide more value to my customers who want the audience I can offer. FB was the only way I could communicate with a lot of people since I didn’t have any other contact information for them.

But, besides being a valuable communications platform I found that you can become “addicted” to spending too much time on it. For the first several days after this happened I felt like I was missing something and feeling anxiety as the result. Not good.

So, as of writing this, I am blocked by FB. Do I want it back? Yes. Do I care if I never do? No, I can live without it.

I’ll update this post if anything changes. But for now, I’m considering how the time I’m not spending on FB is allowing me to do other things that are of much greater value. This includes more prayer time, working on my to-do list, communicating more directly with other people. And that’s not a bad thing.

So, Memento Mori.

There are many options for finding excellent spiritual reading during Advent. One I recommend is Scepter Publishers. Besides the many books they offer, you can find a “Daily Quote to Contemplate.” You can subscribe to it here. Here is an example from 11/30/21:

“Healing power pours forth unceasingly from the sacred Eucharistic Heart of Jesus, but in order for this power to be received, it must meet with a certain receptivity. This receptivity consists in the theological virtues.” From The Bishop of the Abandoned Tabernacle by St. Manuel Gonzalez Garcia.

Memento Mori. Know what that means? Remember your death. Sounds kind of morbid doesn’t it? However, it is an old spiritual practice. Here’s more information:

Memento mori or “remember your death” is a phrase that has been long associated with the practice of remembering the unpredictable and inevitable end of one’s life. The spiritual practice of memento mori and the symbols and sayings associated with it were particularly popular in the medieval church. But the tradition of remembering one’s death stretches back to the very beginning of salvation history.

I have found a treasure trove of information and aids to this practice by Sr. Theresa Altheia Noble, who is a former atheist who is now a religious sister of the Daughters of Saint Paul. You can find lots of information here.

Since we’re on our way to death even as we’re born this practice is an excellent way to prepare yourself for when that time comes.

It is that time in the Catholic liturgical year when we pray for the holy souls in purgatory. In fact, the whole month of November is devoted to this.

This makes it the perfect time to reflect on our death and how we should be preparing for it when that time comes (which we know not the day or hour). My daughter suggested Memento Mori. I didn’t even know what it meant which is Remember Your Death. I have used this ancient Catholic tradition to reflect on my death and it has been a big help in my spiritual life. The last almost two years had really affected me more than I at first realized. However, after reflecting on my own death regularly I am much more at peace.

An excellent aid to the understanding and contemplation of Memento Mori are resources you can purchase that are produced by Sr. Theresa Aletheia Noble, FSP. She is a former atheist who is now a religious sister with the Daughters of St. Paul. You can find out more and purchase a variety of aids like the Memento Mori prayer book, pictured here. I have also purchased the Memento Mori Advent Companion book.

It sounds like a very dark topic. In reality it is the opposite.

This week my Knights of Columbus council held its monthly meeting. I am currently the Lecturer for the council. So, I provide information for the good of the order on a variety of topics. This week my conscience required me to say the following as my report. This is an edited version, and we had a good discussion following it. So, here it goes.

I must point out the obvious first, which is that the devil is alive and well in the world and he is causing some of the worst atrocities we’ve ever seen.

So firstly, let’s start with abortion. It is a major issue we as Knights work on. That is to save the unborn. Don’t dwell on it and how many have been murdered because it will just drive you crazy.

That leads us to the main thing I want to bring up which is the vaccines for this Covid virus. I have been traveling quite a bit lately and have had many people asking me lots of questions about this topic. Many of those conversations were uncomfortable because people are so emotional about the issue.

My wife, Cindy and I are trained journalists by college and career. We’ve done lots of research since March, 2020 on this topic. We’ve never seen such a convoluted mess of misinformation and lies. And what really rankles us as Catholics is how the vaccines have been created, tested, and produced. All of them have used fetal tissue from what was originally tissue from an aborted baby. A long time ago at this point. They basically clone it to make it simple to explain how they continue that “line” of tissue. Only one uses fetal tissue in the actual production process and that is the J&J one regardless of what you may have heard. That’s why the bishops have had a real problem with that one. However, all the vaccines we have come about because of an aborted baby’s tissue. The fact that it was ever used encourages other researchers to use that kind of tissue and that should be illegal everywhere in the world.

We know what the Pope and bishops have said. Many bishops will not endorse any of their use. But the majority have told us we can feel okay to get the shots. If you’re familiar with the term remote cooperation, then you might understand how they can allow this. Look it up if you don’t know.

Read the rest of this post…

Last weekend was the nicest weather for the opening days of the Georgia deer season I can remember. The days were clear and sunny and the evenings were cool. Most of the members of our Crystal Pig Hunt Club harvested deer! Some of it will go direct to the freezer, some of it has been donated and mine will include giving business to a small local processor to make cube steaks and summer sausage. Mmm, mmm.

Most of the “action” when you’re in the woods is over in a matter of minutes. The rest of the time is quiet time in your stand. It is the most relaxing time for meditating on life and all kinds of things. Since I started deer hunting about 30 years ago I’ve always made it a practice to say my rosary as soon as I get in my stand in the morning.

Most of the noise you hear are birds, squirrels, wind in the trees and sometimes I can even hear a deer walking near me. While keeping my eyes open waiting to see a deer there is a lot of time to have a conversation with God. Sometimes it’s me asking Him for help and guidance. Sometimes it’s just “listening” and letting Him talk to me. This may not be a retreat but in a way there are similarities. It is a very calming time with no internet, tv, phone calls or meetings. Although, we do send each other texts when necessary.

I never know if I’ll have the chance to do this again. And if that is the case, I have a lifetime of memories that include the most beautiful sunrises or sunsets. And then there is the time with family and friends, relaxing at camp, making and eating some good food. I can’t thank God enough for the opportunity.